“I see!” her mother answered. “But
then you don't have to feel that they are the ones you should pretend
to be tempting!”
“Mama! She insults me again if I try
to stop that from being my insinuations! She always ridicules that I
am her older sister, and she pretends, every time, that I am a
lesbian and that she is the sort of girl for me to catch!”
Her mother looked at her with a slight
amusement in her eyes. “I still feel they haven't been insulted
just like you have, those boys you want to convince that they are the
ones to go to bed with you, if everybody acts as they should, like by
nature! Or isn't that what you were trying to say earlier?!”
“Mama! I don't have to feel insulted
just because they don't bed me! It's just that her insolence fakes
the notion of me as the someone who would like to be incestuously
lesbian, instead of the kind of a catch that I really like to feel I
could be!”
“Then I shall tell her not to feel
that you are the one she should be thinking of like that!”
“I sure feel that you should, mama!”
“I will really see to it that they
don't feel that you're impossible for a catch, even without that your
sister glares at you like that!”
“I feel that this could become the
turning point I've been needing to have since the day when she
started faking that I fancied her!”
“Good! Then you and she should have a
talk about feeling that it's inappropriate to be lesbian and that it
feels good to pretend you are, respectively!”
“Okay, mama, I guess I could be going
to do that with her, But that'll be on one condition: that she and I
need not truly find each other to be assuming that we are actually
fond of each other!”
“Okay! But then you must see to it
that she doesn't pertain to evilishly pretend they are the pathetic
nonsense to be having an affair with!”
“I already tried that, mama! But she
refused to see them that way! Furthermore, she refused also to see in
it that there was no reason for me to fancy them more than her. I
don't know how I shall, mama, try to defend myself from the
assumption that she has for the reason that she keeps imagining me
fancying her as well as them!”
“I feel that the two of you should be
together about that they are the actual predicaments of falling into
powerlessness of being a female, whereas they themselves are
predicaments of being saucy and so!”
“I feel there's not any predicament
for us to feel the same about men! She is into them like I am into
women! I don't feel better about being a woman that is without men
around me than she does about being one with them around her!”
“I feel they don't need a capacity to
feel that they are constantly there or not! But when they feel like
being around you, then you shall of course see to it that there's no
good enough excuse for them to change that - if that is the way
that you feel it should be!”
“Mama, I cannot feel anything but
weird about that they don't hang around me as much as around her! I
expect that she cannot be anything but a sly similar-to-me sister,
who keeps on challenging me against the authority that I should have
since I am the older!”
“I can feel that they are into not
pretending that she is heterosexual! Instead, they are trying to
pretend that you both are bisexual, it seems!”
“I know, mama! But how abut when I or
they feel like being partners in bed? I feel that we should then have
the ability to say to her that she aught to go somewhere and hide! I
feel that it's really imbecile to keep her there n that
circumstance!”
“I believe the two of you should get
together anyhow, and sort things out, somehow, so that the boys don't
seem to be interested in the two of you in bed at the same time!”
“I can't see why they should be that
interested in having her and me in bed at the same time!”
“I can say that you aught to
understand that it is the same thing that you felt when you tried to
seduce that little boy who was your then boyfriend's little brother!
The two of them felt differently than you about being in bed all
three, remember?!”
“Yeah, I remember, mama! But I can't
feel that they're not the same as me when I try to interrupt their
relationship as two brothers who should nearly always be seen as
though they were intimate for the reason of trying to be friendly in
the way that suits me or anyone else who would be into finding them
quite attractive!”
“I mean that is just what I think
those boys feel about you and Lisa!”
“Then what shall I do with the two
boys who told Lisa that she was the superior girl to wanna screw!?
The two of them had me thinking about that for a while, but then they
stopped recognizing me and her as the ones who should be together in
bed with them - and the two of them wanted only her form then on!”
“Then I shall say that you are that
much alike! Because she too doesn't get what she fancies, and neither
do you!”
“Mama! I don't feel that those two
boys are anything but irresponsible for the sake of being into
lesbian sex for the sake of pretending I am not normal if I don't
fancy her or something!”
“I shall not view the two of you as
that alike, then, but you must both see to it that they don't get the
upper hand on who the two of you fancy!”
“Okay, mama! Then I shall see to it
that she and I are not into the same relationships as each other! And
I shall see to it that they don't seem to fit into that relationship
of that other sister they've been aspiring for! But I will also tell
those two that they shall not be ever part of my any affair of mine
that doesn't turn out to be normal about the predicaments of really
assuming she is the one to think about as lesbian, while I'm not the
one they should ever imagine to be so weird as to take it like that!”
“I will not recommend that you speak
that way in front of neither her, nor her friends, and I will not
recommend that you even speak that way in front of me, since that's
the way you seem to pretend as if everyone else felt!”
“I will not try to convince everyone
to be supergood at trying to be heterosexual! I will thereby not try
to ever convince everybody that they should have a boyfriend! It is
just me that I'm into should have the right to have boyfriends!”
“Thereby I will see in you someone
who considers herself exceptional! And I will see in you also to be
the one who pretends everyone else is a lesbian!”
“I feel that you thereby have not
respected my integrity of being a straight girl and that you thereby
have pretended that I am a lesbian just like she is, and that you are
- of course - in this context, to be seen as a straight woman who
is of fancy for the lesbianism that she proclaims to be of interest
for her.”
“Then I feel that you and I should
have a talk! Because I haven't been feeling straight since you were
about four! And now you're seventeen! Your little sister, who will be
thirteen this spring has not been straight since she was born! And I
don't feel that I have anything straight to offer! You should be
straight just in the sense that suits everybody in this family! I
will hereby proclaim you to be a lesbian for now and forever more! If
you can't do that then you will have to move away from this home, and
find another one!”
Lesbian it was, and it would be, for
Stina. Because, there weren't any men for her to take advantage of
for her substitute dwelling. Instead, she happened to run into
lesbians who offered her a way out of her predicament, but who took
advantage of her sexually! “I imagine,” she thought for herself,
once in a while, “that those who are into men only will forever be
treated as not good enough for the men they fancy, and thereby, I
shall from now on see to it that there aren't any solutions for males either, when they are into the same kind of predicament!”
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